Things I’m Afraid to Tell You

Australia – Heart Poundingly Happy

Yesterday I stumbled upon this super brave post written by blogger Erin Loechner in which she compiles a list of all the things she is afraid to tell her readers.  Personal things, embarrassing things, things that are a little messy and not pinterest worthy, things that just take courage to talk about.

I read the list, I chuckled, I blushed and I realised it was time to do the same.  Here goes:

-I went to Australia and didn’t blog.  And then I came back and didn’t blog.  I just spent weeks swimming in an ocean of no words and a weird see saw of guilty apathy.  And I missed it and felt like I couldn’t remember how to write.  Or be honest about some things that terrified me. And the funny thing about words is that they breed like rabbits.  Words make more words make more words.  Unless they don’t.  And then you’re just left in the hazy, misty woods with one lonely rabbit hopping around.

-I am really not happy with the design, layout, look of Ameezing.  She needs alot of love.  It feels like I’m still faxing whilst everyone else is tweeting.  I’m finally working on that.

-I am genuinely terrified that I won’t ever find someone.  Wait, Someone.  To build a life with, to ‘Hey honey, how was your day?’ with, to make the babies that I can dress like  mini grown-ups with.  And I have no idea what to do about it.

-And I’m broody.  What an unfortunate combination.

-I still have this problem.

-Blushing, the Judas Iscariot of all public interactions is getting worse.

-Sending stuff that I have written to anyone still feels like the most terrifying, impossible thing.  Why is that wall so high? (Blog writing to you, dear ameezings, aside).

-In my next life I would very much like to come back as Katniss Everdeen.  Very, very much.

So, with those, I am declaring Chapter Two of Ameezing the Blog, begun.  Thank you for your patience and gentle (and not so gentle but super needed) encouragement to get back on the blogging horse.  Galloping feels a little like flying.  And flying feels ameezing.

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Comments

  1. Movan says:

    Sweetheart, you’re ameezingly brave about things you’re afraid to tell us! You will look back at this post one day and feel amazed how everything’s worked out. And how happy you are! Love you lots! x x :-)

  2. Charlie says:

    You’re Ameezing! So glad you’re ‘back’. xxx

  3. ameezing says:

    Thanks guys x

  4. gemsbygems says:

    We haven’t spoken in years (and I’m not too sure why) but I can read your blog religiously and was gutted for a whole month of silence… welcome back – it’s truly inspirational for so many reasons. x

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